Monday, January 26, 2015

The (LATE) END OF THE YEAR/BEGINNING OF THE YEAR POST

“New Year, New Me!” We hear that cliche at the end of every year. Everyone claims that the next year will be different. This is a bullshit thought when we never actually initiate making ourselves better. 2014 did bring alot of changes in my life and they seem to continue. 2015 will be keeping the tradition and I can't wait to see what it brings.

Physically:

2014 was a year of great body. While for most of 2013 I looked pretty decent I did falter with my body. There were some scenes I looked less than spectacular. 2014 though, I served BODY, steaming fresh from kitchen. My scenes, Black Party and IML showed I can give you (part of) the size I want with the definition I had in 2012. It continued at World Pride and FOLSOM. I put in a lot of work in the gym and ate clean. This was harder this year because a big part of my support system was gone. Jeff and I broke up and it did take affect on what I did. Not only were we partners but we lifted together and cooked together. Having someone to do it all with made it a lot easier. With that gone I had change my plan of action. I also didn’t feel like eating or working out. 2015 I really want to make my body a priority. Guys like Rogan Richards, Race Cooper and Samuel Colt are big inspirations. I want to put on a lot of muscle then get ripped. As a black model I know I have to be better than the rest. When everyone else can be an 8 I have to be an 11. I have an uphill battle. Even though it’s “just porn” it’s important to me. As I said before I saw few black porn stars growing up. I want to help it be more visible.


Emotionally:

The man that collared me, the one that I thought I would marry and I ended our relationship. If you have read my twitter, this blog or seen me at any event you most likely have seen “Daddy”. Well many strains and difference in priorities caused us to separate. While still love each other very much but we can no longer provide what the other one needs us. We talk everyday and we lift but we know our relationship is better off as friends (and the occasional fuck, I still can’t resist that ass and 9” thickness). It has been a hard and rough road but great friends who became family helped me through it.

My brothers not only grew in numbers but relationship strength. While they all have always been great friends something changed. I have a hard time really opening up. I will let friends get only so close. I think a big part of it has to do my parents. They are the ones everyone come (add “s”) too. They are extremely strong. I wanted to emulate them. This year I opened up and let my pup brothers in and really love me. Alek my Alpha has been instrumental. Whenever I needed someone to cry to or needed advice he was there for me. He is truly a big brother. He has had my back and I will always love him for that. Oliver has changed my life. We met with what was suppose to a one night stand and instantly connected. He is my brother who like Alek I wouldn’t hesitate for. I can call him when I am feeling down and he knows what to say to bring me back up. Oliver encouraged his Daddies to take me. Adding me to his family was the best thing that happened to me. Marc & Uday are phenomenal and my life is better with them in it. To have a family that cares so much means the world to me. Doing porn and being gay allowed me to make my family. I have been accepted and nothing feels greater. I love my Daddies and brothers so much. I am truly blessed.

Work:

I didn't shoot as much this year as I wanted to. I wasn’t in a state to do such. I didn’t try as hard. No new pictures or promotions in 2014. I did a lot more appearances. I love interacting with you guys. If you want me to come to a club, bathhouse or venue tell me. 2015 I am shooting more. I have some scenes planned and as I said earlier this body is going to be 10s across the board. I want to impact the industry this year. I relented in 2014 but 2015 I am aiming to change things. I really want to see a change in porn this year. There needs to be a bigger and better presence of men of color in porn especially mainstream porn. Even as the country has socially progressed porn has gone back 10 years. No shade but the studios are all starting to look the same. I have a diverse taste and I am very eclectic. I want my scenes to reflect that. I was afraid to do kink on camera but this year I am going to take a note from Leo Forte and go for it. I am no longer that 24 year old twunk. I am going to explore more on and off camera. I’m bringing what I’m doing off camera to your screen. So expect bondage, puppy play, watersports and electro play in the future. Losing my last layer in 2015.  With a better body and more visibility this year will change for me.

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